New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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