Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
