Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
