drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
