I think I am morally bankrupt
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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