come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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