I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Green mimosas i think yes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
