You just made me feel so damn special
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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