You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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