Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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