i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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