Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
