Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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