maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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