I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
