yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
