Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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