just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Boobs speak an international language.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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