I am puke
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
