Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
