dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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