he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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