dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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