one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
