guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
