I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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