At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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