I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
