just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
