I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
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All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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