i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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