"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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