have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
