i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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