Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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