i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
