So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
