if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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