I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
