I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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