once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
