And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
