I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
