dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
