I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
false alarm, still single
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
