This is not my ceiling
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
