Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
