She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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