I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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