What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I will pee on everything he values.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
