I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
