my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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