I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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