pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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