So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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